I see my owners and jockey just made a marketing deal with UPS. Well, good for them, but can I ask one question: Uh, did you forget someone? Like me, the one making all this possible? My new slogan: What can you do for Brown?
I’ve made $2.1 million for my owners, and the jockey and trainer got 10 percent. Can you estimate how much I’ve gotten out of that? Answer: zero. I’m told that the Derby win makes me worth $30 million as a stallion, but my life hasn’t changed. I’m still eating the same boring hay and oats I got before anybody heard of Big Brown.
Am I wrong to want to cash in on myself? I earn millions by running like a demon, and I haven’t got a cent to my name. I hear my barn at Pimlico needs serious upgrading, and I’d like to pay for it myself. It’s my money and I need it now!
My owners have hooked up with UPS, so I’m going to hook up with Scott Boras, that greedy baseball agent. If that Prince of Weasels could get that choker A-Rod $25million a year, what could he get for me? When the pressure's on, I hit a home run, not a pop-up like that glorified loser. Boras says he can get me appearance money at Pimlico, and if they won’t pay, to threaten a work stoppage. Dumb animal, huh? Don’t push me.
(Tomorrow: Big Brown and his agent issue a list of demands.)
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